Category: Stories

You can tell someone’s age by how much they think about the future or the past.

When we’re kids, time is slow, like moving through water. It’s a huge milestone to be six years old, then six and a half, and then seven. A two-month summer vacation lasts a lifetime. When you’re nine, a twenty-year-old adult is just old, and a grandparent has been around since the beginning of time. It’s going to take forever before we can grow up and be free to do whatever we want without the approval of our parents.

I’ve noticed that teenagers and people in their twenties talk about the future as if there is a lot of time ahead of them. They have post-secondary education goals, first career-related job discussions, and first romantic relationships. They ask questions such as: How do I start my career? How do I know if he likes me? What should I put on my resume? Where should I travel? The world is new, and people want to try things out and explore them. Some act like they are invincible because they are young. Others dwell on their first heartaches: a breakup with their high school crush. Pain from not getting into the college of their dreams. Anger at not being trusted to drive their first car or host a party with their friends and no parents. They have memories of childhood, school, and first-time life experiences.

People who are in their forties and fifties seem to speak equally about the future and the past. They realize they shouldn’t waste what time they have left. Either they are at the peak of their career and financial stability or they plan to get there soon. Their children are grown or will be grown up. When they’re middle aged, they think about retirement plans. At this time, they’re fighting the aging process while taking care of aging parents. Behind them, they have more memories and years than they did in their twenties. They remember friendships and romances that didn’t work out. They’ve survived divorces. They painfully remember missed chances: it’s harder to learn new languages, play a sport, or learn a new musical instrument. They’ve been to weddings and funerals. They fondly remember what it was like to be young and invincible back when they didn’t hear of so many tragedies. Most importantly, they feel empowered by their life experience.

Seniors talk about the past a lot. They reminisce about how life used to be, how much things used to cost, and all the wonderful memories of the people they had known and the places they had been over the years. Their memories are like a finished book that they can open and read. They value the preciousness of time because the chances they had to accomplish what they could are mostly behind them. Seniors in their 90s and older value each additional morning because they don’t know how many more of them they have remaining. Time is more important than money, because when you’re a senior, you realize that a decade can pass in one eye blink.

So, to return to the question, “Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past?” I think it depends on the individual, but certainly, your age affects how long the path stretches ahead of you and how far it goes behind you.

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