When we are older, we are wiser. We also spend a lot of time rethinking past life decisions and choices. If only we had a time machine to fix whatever needs fixing!
One such moment from the past that stands out is a moment at work. I wished I had taken action to set boundaries. Instead, I just let things happen and felt defeated afterward.
I’d just been hired at a new company. A week later, the company had a meeting and dinner. After the event, people started to leave, and the boss insisted on a tight-squeeze bear hug. To me, hugging is a personal preference, especially when meeting the boss for the first time, and (very much) especially when the boss is male and I’m not too fond of him. When I tried to distance-hug the boss (the barely touching hug), he accused me of having issues and lectured me in front of everyone about my lack of participation. I was too concerned about being fired to insist on my boundaries.
What would I do differently now? It’s easy in hindsight to reflect on what I would have done. I have the luxury of freezing the past moment and fixing it up. I would have said that I hug family, close friends, and coworkers I’ve established a relationship with. He did not have that relationship with me.
Communication is key. Setting boundaries is key. But both are not easy to do. Perhaps the best advice is to ask yourself if you would regret your decision in the future. If you insist on your boundaries, you will feel better about it in the long run.
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