Vanya Wryter Consulting Services

Tag: fears

  • How Do You Conquer Your Fears?

    How Do You Conquer Your Fears?

    Daily writing prompt
    Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
    View all responses

    If you’ve ever searched for the answer to the question “How do you conquer your fears,” you know there is no perfect answer. Everyone has a different level of courage, and a different level of ability to conquer what intimidates them.

    If you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that I conquered a common fear – public speaking. It wasn’t achieved overnight. It took a lot of effort and practice (and I had no choice – speak in front of an audience or don’t have a job).

    I would say the best advice for conquering your fears is to face them head on, but from a safe distance. (So, if you have a fear of heights, I’m not suggesting that you jump down from a high rise.) Start with something small. For example, in an actual experiment, a boy named Peter got over his fear of white rabbits through repeated exposure, first from a distance, and eventually desensitizing him to his fear of the rabbits.

    Another example of facing your fears is my experience performing on stage. I was part of a music group. I forgot my lines and froze in the middle of a song. Not my best moment, and not a perfect performance, but the point is, I got on stage in front of several people I knew at school. If you try something once, and you survive, it is easier to do it again. (And you set the bar a bit lower: first time, get on stage, make a mistake and look silly; next time, get on stage, do a better job.)

    To conquer your fears, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and don’t be afraid to be less than perfect. Also, don’t be afraid of embarrassing yourself (such as forgetting your lines). Every little step counts as progress. 

    Thanks for reading!

  • Tips to Overcome Your Fears

    Tips to Overcome Your Fears

    Fear can physically and mentally cripple you. For example, people have gotten stage fright and forgotten their lines while standing, momentarily paralyzed on the stage. Have you had a similar experience?

    What are you afraid of?

    Everyone is afraid of something. The harder part is facing your fears and conquering them. The secret to defeating your fears is to break them down into pieces. 

    Here are four fears and how to conquer them.

    Fear of overwhelm. In life, we can be overwhelmed by everything we need to do, from personal to professional projects. Selling or buying a house, starting a new career, or maintaining a long-term relationship. You are hit by a tsunami of questions – what do you do first? What if you forget to do something important? 

    The first step is to make a plan and break down a major task into a series of steps. If necessary, get help from a mentor or an expert or someone available. Ask for advice on what to do when buying a home. See if a coworker can help with a project. Just work on one small task at a time, instead of taking on everything as one goal.

    Fear of things. Phobias are often out of your control. You just fear what you fear, such as spiders, snakes, heights, or closed spaces. 

    But if you arm yourself with knowledge, you can slowly start to chip away at your fear. For example, if you fear spiders, read a book about spiders and learn everything you can about them. The question is WHAT should you fear about your fear. Being bitten by a spider and reacting to the venom is a true concern. Being fearful of a tarantula because it is sitting next to you, minding its own business and enjoying the weather – that’s a fear in your mind. Knowledge is power. 

    Fear of situations. Rejection is a situation many people dread. You have no control over how people think of you. What if you tell someone you like them and they don’t like you back? What if you apply for your dream job and you are rejected?

    To overcome your fear of these types of situations, put yourself in these situations more often. (This probably seems like a nightmare in itself.) Apply for jobs more often so you have more experience with resumes and job interviews. Work up your courage and be brave. Ask the person you like to spend time alone with you. See how they react. Then, eventually, work your way up to the big question: Do they like you?

    Fear of failure. Everyone fears failure. It’s embarrassing, and it’s a terrible feeling to disappoint yourself or someone else. However, failure gives us painful but valuable lessons. Any business owner will tell you that the road to success is not easy and failure (or failures) is something you encounter on your journey.

    To succeed, you develop mental toughness. When failure happens, ask yourself what you would do differently next time. What lessons did you learn? If you tried a new hobby (like playing piano) and failed at it, try again. (No one played piano masterfully on the first try.) Or you find you have played the same sport for a year and made zero progress. It happens. It’s a learning process. Sometimes it’s a sign to try something new.

    We face our fears every day. This Halloween, take a moment to think about your greatest fears and how you will overcome them. 

    Thanks for reading! If you liked this post, subscribe so you don’t miss the next one!

  • Taking a Big Risk

    Taking a Big Risk

    The biggest risk a person takes is usually something that drastically changes their life. The thought that you could fail miserably and be laughed at or put down by your nonsupporters can deter you from taking that significant risk. It’s easier to do what’s comfortable and be in your safe place.

    I took a major risk years ago when I decided on a career change. The big hurdle I would have to overcome would be public speaking. Of course, I was intimidated by the thought of speaking in front of people I did not know. The first time I spoke in front of a group of twenty-five people, I wasn’t very loud and the people at the back of the room couldn’t hear me. I was also worried about forgetting my lines.

    After presenting for about a month, my throat hurt and I discovered the roof of my mouth had a soft palette that I hadn’t known existed until that point in my life. I thought that I had grown something in my mouth!

    Fast forward a decade and I was presenting in front of groups of fifty to two hundred people. My confidence had grown since my early presentation days. Despite having so much experience, I still got nervous the day before a presentation, but I am a lot more confident. The trick is to practice what I’m going to say in my head before the actual presentation. Although I refer to notes, I try to remember what I’m going to say as if I don’t have notes. Then I picture myself speaking to the audience and calm myself down (because I still feel nervous sometimes).

    I feel a lot more confident about speaking in front of a large group now than when I started.

    One day, I would like to speak at a Ted Talk. This would involve speaking in front of a group of thousands. As confident as I am in speaking, I don’t think I have the time or energy to practice a speech that is eighteen minutes long until the words are flawless. I think I will get tired of repeating the speech many times as I practice it. Also, I’m not sure what topic I would be so passionate about that I would spend months practicing the same words over and over until I know them in my sleep.

    So, a big risk that I’d like to take but haven’t been able to is making a speech in front of thousands of people.

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
    View all responses
  • Fear of AI and Technology Started Centuries Ago

    Fear of AI and Technology Started Centuries Ago

    People fear rogue robots like the Terminator (from the 1984 movie) will take over the earth and humankind if we allow technology to continue to advance. This fear has been around for a very long time, much longer than ChatGPT and robot waiters.

    Long ago, there were tales of golems, a black box of evil, and a self-driving boat. Point is, the theme of creating technology that rebels has been around for a very long time.

    Some myths and tales:

    • Pandora’s box: Pandora, an artificial life form, releases misery onto mankind
    • Golem of Prague: a golem that is like a robot that serves its master but later rebels and brings destruction
    • Odyssey: Odysseus gets home using a self-driving boat 

    For the full article on how our fears of artificial intelligence started more than a millennia ago, check out more examples of rebellious innovations.

  • How to Conquer Your Fears

    How to Conquer Your Fears

    Fear is scary. It can physically and mentally cripple you. For example, people have gotten stage fright and forgotten their lines while standing, momentarily paralyzed on the stage. Have you had a similar experience? What are you afraid of?

    Everyone is afraid of something. The harder part is facing your fears and conquering them. The secret to defeating your fears is to break them down into pieces. 

    Here are four fears and how to conquer them.

    Fear of becoming overwhelmed. In life, we can be overwhelmed by everything we need to do, from personal to professional projects. Selling or buying a house, leading your first major project, or starting a job that is different from what you’ve done in the past. You are hit by a tsunami of questions – what do you do first? What if you forget to do something important? 

    The first step is to make a plan and break down a major task into a series of steps. If necessary, get help from a mentor or an expert or someone available. Ask for advice on what to do when buying a home. See if a coworker can help with a piece of the project. Just work on one small task at a time, instead of taking on everything as one goal.

    Fear of things. Phobias are often out of your control. You just fear what you fear, such as spiders, snakes, heights, or tight spaces. 

    But if you arm yourself with knowledge, you can slowly start to chip away at your fear. For example, if you fear spiders, read a book about spiders and learn everything you can about them. The question is WHAT should you fear about your fear. Being bitten by a spider and reacting to the venom is a true concern. Being fearful of a tarantula because it is sitting next to you, minding its own business and enjoying the weather – that’s a fear in your mind. Knowledge is power. 

    Fear of situations. Public speaking is a term that many people dread. You have no control over how people think of you. Will you make a mistake when you speak? Will people judge you and think that you’re awful even though you thought your presentation was flawless?

    To overcome your fear of these types of situations, put yourself in these situations more often. (This probably seems like a nightmare in itself.) Start with something small, such as going onstage to announce the next speaker. Or making a presentation in front of a small group of supportive friends before you start presenting in front of a large group of prospective clients.

    Fear of failure. Everyone fears failure. It’s embarrassing, and it’s a terrible feeling to disappoint yourself or someone else. However, failure gives us painful but valuable lessons. Any business owner will tell you that the road to success is not easy and failure (or failures) is something you encounter on your journey.

    To succeed, you develop mental toughness. When failure happens, ask yourself what you would do differently next time. What lessons did you learn? In business, it’s tough when you think you have a prospective customer or client, and after much discussion, talks fall through. Or you find you have successfully closed what turns out to be the client from hell. It happens. It’s a learning process.

    We face our fears every day. Today, on Halloween, take a moment to think about your greatest fears and how you will overcome them. 

    If you liked this post, subscribe so you don’t miss the next one!