Vanya Wryter Consulting Services

Tag: personal-development

  • Tips to Improve Your Mindset and Well-Being

    Tips to Improve Your Mindset and Well-Being

    Words have tremendous power and influence. Terse statements such as “I love you,” “I hate you,” “You’re hired,” and “You’re fired” can dramatically change a person’s life. But it isn’t just what we say to another person that can have a tremendous impact. The words we choose to say can change how other people perceive us, and change our own mindset. Here are some tips to create a positive way of thinking.

    Tip 1: Choose words that put you in a positive light.

    Compare the following statements. What does each pair of statements say about the speaker’s mindset? Which words are confident? Which words are apologetic?

    Sorry, I’m late.

    Thank you for waiting.

    The first expression is very common. However, you are starting off with an apology (nothing wrong with that). But by saying, “Thank you for waiting,” you are acknowledging the other person and speaking in a more positive way by not beginning with sorry.

    Tip 2: Say what you mean to avoid a possible misunderstanding.

    Giving an order with “Don’t” is quick and to the point. “Don’t step on the grass.” But using “don’t” also emphasizes the negative. Sometimes, what people hear is not “DON’T step on the grass” but “Step on the grass.” You can make the same point using positive wording: “Remember to avoid the new grass.” Or “Remember to log off before you leave the office.”

    Tip 3: Be careful with meaning and intent.

    I didn’t hear what you said. Could you say it again?

    Could you repeat what you said in a different way? 

    A slight change in wording changes your meaning and intent. In the first example, you’re admitting you weren’t paying attention and the speaker must remember what he or she said. In the second example, you’re implying you were listening (even if your mind drifted) and you want to make sure you understood what was said.

    Tip 4: Speak like you are being proactive, not reactive.

    How do I know if I can finish the task correctly?

    What if I make a mistake using the new software?

    These two examples have the same negative mindset in common. The speaker is focused on failure or possible failure. The speaker is leaving the outcome to chance and fate.

    What can I do to ensure I finish this task correctly? 

    What are some common mistakes and what can I do to avoid them?

    Compare the negative mindset examples to the sentences above. Notice the change to a positive mindset. The speaker is taking initiative and controlling the outcome. The speaker doesn’t know what to do, but is telling the listener that he or she wants to be prepared and will make sure the outcome will be the best possible one.

    Key Takeaways

    The words you choose to express an idea are part of your mindset. You can express an idea in a way that makes you appear negative and lacking in confidence. Or you can choose words that show initiative and positivity. Your words are a powerful extension of your personality and mindset.

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  • How to Deal with Distractions While at Work

    How to Deal with Distractions While at Work

    Distractions can be relaxing. Distractions can be harmful. How you deal with distractions determines if you can manage your time or watch it slip away from you. Especially at this time of year, it’s easy to lose motivation at work. We’re still partly in holiday mode and readjusting to our work schedule. If you are distracted while at work, try these tips on how to deal with distractions to keep yourself focused.

    1 Shift Your Mind into Work Mode

    Imagine your mind as a bunch of rooms. If you can, divide your life into compartments to avoid distractions. If you work from home, there is plenty to distract you from doing your work. Your family members may want your attention. Or your delicious lunch is tempting you to go to the kitchen. That TV series you’re hooked on is beckoning you to finish one more episode.

    A mental switch into work mode can include changing into work clothes (your work sweater, your work hoodie) and starting your routine, such as getting your cup of coffee, opening up your computer, and checking your work emails. 

    If your job involves a lot of brainstorming and creative thinking, it’s easy to take a moment to check messages on your phone, wander off to get a quick snack, or peek out the window to see what the neighbors are doing. “I’m doing some research,” you say. The break might inspire you with a breakthrough.

    The ding! of a work email can be super exciting if your mind is completely blank and you’re stuck on your creative work task. What should you write next? How do you tackle this problem? Checking a work message can be a nice distraction. After all, you’re still in work mode. You’re just off task. Having a timer helps keep you on task.

    2 Prioritize and Time Your Tasks

    Sometimes, despite your best intentions, it is difficult to stay in work mode. You might still be in holiday mode and feeling sleepy now that you’re getting up early again. However, office hours have begun and you need to get some work done. Devoting a whole eight hours to work instead of doing whatever you like can be daunting.

    Start by mapping out what work tasks you absolutely must complete and what tasks would be nice to complete. Prioritize tasks that must get done by a specific time or end of the day. 

    Use a timer and block off your day in 15 or 30-minute chunks – decide what increment works best for you. It’s easier for your mind to wander if you think you have all day to finish your work. Set a goal to complete a specific task within your time block. With short-term goals, it’s easier to stay focused.

    3 Set Aside Time for Self Care

    Sometimes, telling yourself to switch to work mode or prioritize tasks isn’t enough, especially if you’re dealing with something that affects your mental or physical health. 

    For example, you just found out you have a major health issue to deal with in the coming months or you’re dealing with a conflict at home that’s giving you sleepless nights.

    Provide yourself with something to look forward to, such as a favorite snack or lunch to reward yourself when you finish part of the work day. If you can, take a nap or listen to some music. Go for a walk during lunch. Talk with a friend during your break. What you do after work is important as well, such as spending time with friends or family, or going to the gym. Check if you’re getting enough sleep. Plan an activity so you have something to look forward to at the end of the work week.

    Distractions can be fun, but sometimes too much distraction can lower your productivity.

    What do you do when distractions pull you in multiple directions?

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  • How to Have It All and Attain Your Dream

    How to Have It All and Attain Your Dream

    Is it possible to have it all? We all have goals and dreams; nothing is more fulfilling than seeing our goals achieved. On the other hand, nothing is more disappointing than working hard and watching success slip away as you fail.

    Over time, I’ve put together tips on how to have it all. The last tip is my favorite.

    Daily writing prompt
    What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
    View all responses

    1 Set Realistic Goals

    Having it all has different meanings for different people: being rich, working at their dream job, marrying their significant other, or living in their ideal house while married with a spouse and kids. No matter what the perfect life means to you, you want a match between what’s realistically attainable and what you aim to have.

    If you want to be a billionaire but you don’t have the means to reach that income level, you won’t have everything you desire. Similarly, if you want a happy marriage, you will achieve it by working on your relationship and communicating with your spouse.

    2 Evaluate Your Progress

    Life has its surprises. Your goal may be to earn a medal for a sport, but an unexpected tragedy makes that goal unattainable. In that case, you may need to modify your goal or set a new one. It’s also possible that you thought you could achieve a goal, but as time passes and you gain more life experience, you realize that goal was not reasonable. For example, you may want to start a profitable business but not reach your sales goal. In that case, it’s time to make new milestones and readjust your plans.

    3 Put Yourself First

    It’s important to put yourself first. If you’re influenced by more successful people, what other people have, or the opinions of those who criticize you, it will be difficult to have it all. If you want to be the most fashionable by comparing yourself to fashion icons, you will always be trying to catch up to someone else. If you have a critical friend or parent, you’ll always be below standard and imperfect until you put yourself first.

    4 Create Happiness

    The greatest key to having it all is happiness with what you have. This is not the same as setting low standards. What it means is if you want certain things in life, but you haven’t gotten them yet, take a look around you and see what you currently have while you continue to work on your goals. Being happy with what you have is important for mental health and confidence. It’s a stepping stone as you continue to work on what you want in the future.

  • What To Do If Your Career Isn’t Where You Want It To Be

    What To Do If Your Career Isn’t Where You Want It To Be

    The moment you’re old enough to get a job, you’re asked, “What is your career plan?” Sometimes, you don’t know what job you want to do for the rest of your life. Other times, you try a career and discover it’s not what you want. 

    How do you find the perfect career-related job, or start a new career without spending thousands of dollars on training?

    Daily writing prompt
    What is your career plan?
    View all responses

    If you’re thinking about changing careers in order to earn a higher income and keep up with rising costs, consider these tips:

    Assess your financial situation. 

    How much do you have in savings? How much debt? Should you borrow money to pay expenses while you work to get your career back on track? It may be wiser to take the first job you find so your expenses are paid while you continue to search for better opportunities.

    Look for options to develop your skills while working. 

    Can you use your current skillset to get a job that gives you opportunities to develop new skills that are a stepping stone to a different career?

    Build a professional support network. 

    If you look around, you’ll find some positive online communities that share career resources and job opportunities. It’s also a great idea to attend in-person networking events and get to know people who can introduce you to companies or tell you about job openings.

    Work with a mentor. 

    A career coach or someone with more experience than you in an industry or field can guide you. They can point out what you need to work on, steer you away from making potential mistakes, and share important wisdom with you.

    Build your skillset. 

    Take free or paid courses that build your skills and qualifications. Read books. Join mastermind groups. Share your knowledge with your portfolio. 

    Build a portfolio. 

    Share your expertise online. Blog or post articles or advice on your website or LinkedIn profile. This approach is especially useful if you don’t have actual job experience in the field you’re interested in. For example, if you’re interested in a career in graphic design, you can start building a portfolio of your work on your own website.

    Starting your career and changing careers are tough. By investing in yourself and creating networks, it’s possible to start a new career or change careers with effort and time. 

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  • How to Create Success in Your Life

    How to Create Success in Your Life

    Are you the hero or the villain in your own story? Most people want to be the hero but it doesn’t always turn out that way.

    Sometimes, you’re the villain. You become your own worst enemy when you tell yourself you can’t do something and you won’t succeed. But how do you defy that inner voice and outperform your expectations?

    It’s easy to face a challenge we’ve conquered before. But how do we outperform ourselves?

    The answer comes from a formula I learned in writing class. It applies to real life, too—it’s not just the stuff of fiction. But you might be thinking, it’s not possible to make your life turn out EXACTLY the way you want it to be!

    Well, the outcome depends on the decisions you make now to achieve that success in life that you’re looking for. Here are the first three steps to take.

    Daily writing prompt
    Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
    View all responses

    Step 1: Embrace Change

    Which would you rather be: a famous hero or an anonymous one? Everyone has their preference. Maybe you don’t even want to be famous and that’s okay. But are you happy with your life the way that it is? What would you do if you had a chance to make a change?

    Change sometimes happens, even when we want to avoid it. Maybe you lost your job. Maybe you’re now a parent (and no one is really ready for that). You’re on a different journey than expected. What will you do now?

    Don’t be the voice of self doubt. Your doubts are your enemy. Try the following tips instead:

    1. Focus on one goal.

    Use the K.I.S.S. method (Keep It Simple, Survivor!). Each day, decide on one thing you want to accomplish and get that done. Go for a 15-minute walk. Clean one room of your home. Learn one new thing from one YouTube video.

    2. Challenge yourself.

    Don’t accept things as they are. If you lose your job, find another one. (That suggestion is obvious, but the hard part is staying motivated to do this.) You can change your world the way it is right now. Be ready to climb a steep mountain though. Change isn’t easy.

    Step 2: Define Your Journey

    Your ability to succeed and achieve your dreams depends greatly on your choices. It becomes your identity. 

    But what if you want to change where your life is headed right now? For example, if you want to change your career, you could take these steps:

    1. Upgrade your skills.

    You can take courses, watch free videos, network with people, get advice and information, or find a mentor. This advice also applies to other aspects of life, like improving relationships and improving at hobbies.

    2. Change your situation.

    Change is good. If your career isn’t headed in the right direction, consider changing jobs. If life isn’t what you expected, make new friends, visit new places, or change your focus.

    Step 3: Define Your World – Create Your Boundaries

    Creating your world may sound like fiction. In this case, it isn’t. Like they say, the world in your mind is the world you project on your reality.

    If your inside voice – that voice of doubt – says you can’t do it, then the reality is you won’t. (Not saying you can fly if you put your mind to it – just saying if you set attainable goals, you can attain them.) So how will you see your world when you wake up tomorrow? How can you apply the following tips to define your life?

    1. Adapt to a new reality.

    If your circumstances change, make adaptations so your new reality will work out. If you get a pay cut, adjust your budget and set goals to improve your situation.

    2. Grow stronger and build on what you have.

    How can you build on your current skill set? What skills can you improve to do your current job more effectively? Do you have skills that are transferable to a new career?

    Summary

    You might not be a superhero, but you are still the hero on your journey. Your skills and mindset define the boundaries of your world and the path you’re headed for your future. We are like the heroes we read about in books and watch in movies.

    Challenge yourself to complete a goal, upgrade your skills, or redefine yourself. Heroes don’t achieve great things by staying comfortable. So, what is your next big step in your journey? Comment below.

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