Vanya Wryter Consulting Services

Tag: setting boundaries

  • Workplace Burnout: How I Survived and How You Can Too

    Workplace Burnout: How I Survived and How You Can Too

    Workplace burnout can happen in any work situation. For me, burnout can happen too easily if you work from home. Your boss doesn’t see you regularly, so they don’t understand how you’re feeling. It’s easy to put on a smile for a one-hour meeting. It’s harder to hide your exhaustion if your coworkers see you throughout the day. They don’t know you’re overloaded with work and you’re logged into your work computer, morning, afternoon, and night. And unless you speak up, you can face mental and physical health issues. So how can you recover from workplace burnout? First, let’s tackle the ugly causes of burnout.

    What Causes Workplace Burnout?

    Burnout is often caused by chronic stress in the workplace. Some common causes include excessive workloads, lack of control over tasks, unclear job expectations, and a poor work-life balance. Additionally, an unsupportive work culture and lack of recognition can cause frustration.

    Signs You Might Be Experiencing Burnout

    It’s important to recognize the early signs of burnout before it takes a toll on your health. Some key indicators include:

    • Constant fatigue and lack of energy
    • Decreased motivation and job satisfaction
    • Increased irritability or emotional detachment
    • Difficulty concentrating and declining performance
    • Frequent headaches, muscle pain, or other stress-related ailments
    • Waking up and wishing you worked anywhere else but at your job
    • Surfing the net on your phone because you can’t focus/hate doing your work tasks

    How to Prevent and Manage Burnout

    Burnout can be prevented and managed with proactive steps:

    1. Set Boundaries – Establish clear work-life boundaries, such as setting specific work hours and unplugging from emails after work.
    2. Prioritize Self-Care – Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and practice mindfulness techniques to reduce stress. Do something fun and enjoyable to get your mind off the stress. (I ate a lot of my favorite food.)
    3. Communicate with Your Employer – Start a conversation with your manager about expectations and possible adjustments. (It takes courage, but I did it.)
    4. Seek Support – Talk to colleagues, mentors, or a mental health professional for guidance and emotional support.

    Recognizing and addressing burnout can lead to a healthier, more fulfilling work experience. If a job is just a paycheck and source of stress, then it’s time to set boundaries and change your work situation!

  • Redoing the Past – Setting Boundaries

    Redoing the Past – Setting Boundaries

    Daily writing prompt
    Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
    View all responses

    When we are older, we are wiser. We also spend a lot of time rethinking past life decisions and choices. If only we had a time machine to fix whatever needs fixing! 

    One such moment from the past that stands out is a moment at work. I wished I had taken action to set boundaries. Instead, I just let things happen and felt defeated afterward.

    I’d just been hired at a new company. A week later, the company had a meeting and dinner. After the event, people started to leave, and the boss insisted on a tight-squeeze bear hug. To me, hugging is a personal preference, especially when meeting the boss for the first time, and (very much) especially when the boss is male and I’m not too fond of him. When I tried to distance-hug the boss (the barely touching hug), he accused me of having issues and lectured me in front of everyone about my lack of participation. I was too concerned about being fired to insist on my boundaries.

    What would I do differently now? It’s easy in hindsight to reflect on what I would have done. I have the luxury of freezing the past moment and fixing it up. I would have said that I hug family, close friends, and coworkers I’ve established a relationship with. He did not have that relationship with me.

    Communication is key. Setting boundaries is key. But both are not easy to do. Perhaps the best advice is to ask yourself if you would regret your decision in the future. If you insist on your boundaries, you will feel better about it in the long run.

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  • Argh! How to Set Boundaries and Get Respect

    Argh! How to Set Boundaries and Get Respect

    Let’s empower ourselves. Social media and technology have made it too easy for strangers and toxic people to ignore our boundaries and invade our personal and professional lives.

    Family may ask you for a favor, not realizing (or caring) that you’re tired and need some space. Work may ask you to do extra work, in the evening, when you’re getting ready to call it a day. Strangers can send you unwanted messages via social media. 

    Only you can set some boundaries and create for yourself a peaceful, safe space. Here are some tips for saying “No” and feeling good about it.

    Personal Life Boundaries

    1. Clear Communication 

    Effective communication is key to establishing personal boundaries. This may be easier said than done, depending on how comfortable you are with telling people that they want you to do something you’re not comfortable with. 

    For instance, a friend might ask you to help them with something on a day you planned another activity. The activity might not be life-changing but it’s important to you and you don’t want to reschedule. Ask your friend questions and see if you can reach a compromise so you both can be happy with a new plan. 

    2. Prioritize Self-Care

    Friends, family, coworkers, and strangers can do or say something that presses against your boundaries. For example, a coworker asks you to work later because you’re the one without kids to take care of. Or a stranger cutting in front of you in line, although you had been patiently waiting there first.

    Even after you insist on your boundaries and say, no, I can’t work later, I have plans, you might feel bad. It’s important to prioritize self-care and de-stress. Watch a fun movie or listen to your favorite music. Treat yourself to a spa day (even if it’s at home), or play your favorite video games to “detox” and get the negativity out of your head.

    3. Learn to Say No

    Saying no is a life skill when setting personal boundaries. Decline invitations to events you don’t want to attend. Say no to responsibilities that will leave you mentally or emotionally drained. Refuse to do things that compromise your values.

    It’s okay to say no when a friend or family member asks to borrow something sentimental and you’re afraid you’ll never see it again. You may be scared of their anger, but in the long run, you may be angrier at yourself if they conveniently forget to return your precious possessions.

    Professional Life Boundaries

    1. Establish Clear Work Hours

    Define your work hours, whether you work at an office or remotely. Let your coworkers and supervisor know when you are available. This boundary is especially important with remote work, especially if your coworkers work in different time zones. If they start earlier than you, your workday may start with catching up on messages. If they work later than you, you may be bombarded with work requests during dinner or just as you’re logging off for the evening. Set expectations that you’ll answer during your office hours or within 24 hours, and your stress level will decrease.

    2. Prioritize and Discuss

    Everyone has limits to their professional boundaries. Sometimes taking on that one extra task can push your limits because your last task was stressful enough already. Instead of staying quiet to keep everyone happy, speak up. Tell others that you have a lot on your plate already. Which task should you prioritize? Your current tasks or the new one? Can someone help you so you aren’t overwhelmed? 

    3. Clarify Expectations

    Clarify your coworker’s expectations. Be clear about your tasks and roles on a project. Most importantly, write those tasks and deadlines down. This prevents others from adding more “small requests” for you to complete by the deadline. It will also avoid misunderstandings and conflicts in case the other person expects you to do more than you planned to, or conflicts because you overlapped tasks with another person. 

    Key Takeaways

    Setting personal and professional boundaries is fundamental for your mental health. Don’t hesitate to say no to requests that will make you uncomfortable, and communicate with the other person about how you can reach an agreeable compromise.

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