Vanya Wryter Consulting Services

Tag: life

  • Do You Spend More Time Thinking About the Future or the Past?

    Do You Spend More Time Thinking About the Future or the Past?

    Whether we think more about the past or the future depends on what’s happening in our lives at the time. Reconnecting with an old relative earlier this year made me nostalgic. Also, becoming very ill made me reflective because I realized how fragile life is.

    Seeing an old friend or relative that you haven’t seen in years is a perfect example. Conversations can unlock years of shared history—inside jokes, old routines, moments you didn’t realize would become “the good old days.” You also become aware of lost time when you notice how much older you both look. You start thinking about how long it’s been, how life got busy, how easy it was to assume there would always be more chances. That reflection, of course, gets you thinking that you’d better be more proactive with staying in touch, or finding a chance to visit each other again. Because maybe next time there won’t be a next time.

    Illness has a similar effect. Being sick forces you to slow down, and then you realize how much of your daily routine you miss. You can’t eat your favorite food. You missed the party you had been planning to attend for weeks. At the same time, it makes the future more precious. You start making mental notes to eat better, not to wait so long before you visit your friend, and not to postpone visiting your grandparents.

    In moments like these, the past and future collide. The past reminds us of what mattered. The future becomes a space for second chances and better choices.

    Ultimately, when we think about the past, we realize what we value; when we think about the future, we realize what’s important.

    Daily writing prompt
    Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
    View all responses

  • 5 Tips to Evaluate a Good Judge of Character

    5 Tips to Evaluate a Good Judge of Character

    We all wish we could be good judges of character, but we aren’t always successful. I’m not the best at it, but here are my tips on judging people’s character, based on my own limited experience! Let me know if you’ve got tips to add to the list!

    1. Observe How They Treat People Beneath Them

    A truly insightful person understands that character is revealed not by how someone treats their boss, but by how they interact with those they consider as having lower status—waitstaff, cleaning staff, or subordinates. People of good character respect others and treat them like equals. 

    2. They Don’t Ignore the Small Red Flags

    A common bad habit is giving people “extra chances” and excusing early warning signs. A good judge of character notices minute details—a small lie, manipulation, or a broken promise. They understand that a pattern of bad behavior almost always starts small. If your friend consistently acknowledges these flags, rather than excusing them.

    3. They Set and Maintain Clear Boundaries

    A person with poor judgment often allows others to cross their boundaries, hoping the disrespectful person will change. In contrast, a sharp judge of character uses boundaries as a filter. They set clear rules (e.g., “I won’t tolerate being yelled at”) and enforce them immediately. This shows they value their peace over keeping a problematic person in their life.

    4. They Learn Explicitly From Past Mistakes

    It’s natural to misjudge someone. But an excellent judge of character doesn’t just move on from the bad experience; they engage in active self-reflection. They know why they were fooled, and can identify what they missed. 

    5. They Wait for Behavior, Not Just Words

    Flattery, charisma, and eloquent speeches are poor indicators of a person’s true personality. A good judge of character evaluates people based on what they do over time—the consistency, reliability, and kindness demonstrated over months, not the short term. If they are slow to trust, they are likely a very wise judge of human nature.

    Daily writing prompt
    Are you a good judge of character?
    View all responses

  • Dreaded Questions: “How Old Are You?”

    Dreaded Questions: “How Old Are You?”

    Daily writing prompt
    What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
    View all responses

    If there’s one question I hate being asked, it’s “How old are you?” Throughout the different stages of my life, I vacillated from welcoming to not caring to disliking that question. 

    As a child, age is something we celebrate down to the smallest detail. You’re not just six; you’re six and a half. You’re not simply eight; you’re eight and three months. Every added fraction of a year is a milestone, a step closer to the next exciting stage of life.

    Then, as a teenager, age becomes a frustrating boundary. It takes forever to reach the magic age of eighteen. You’re constantly reminded of what you’re not old enough to do—too young to drive, too young to go to late-night parties, too young for independence. The years seem to stretch endlessly before you, filled with rules and restrictions.

    But then, something shifts. You finally reach the legal age for certain privileges—driving, voting, entering clubs. Suddenly, answering “How old are you?” feels like a badge of honor. You say your age with pride because it now represents newfound freedom. You can’t wait to show your ID card.

    Yet, time passes, and one day, that same question feels different. When you realize no one is checking your ID anymore, you wonder—do I look older? Am I showing my age? You want to show your ID card to prove you’re still young enough to be questioned.

    As the years go by, you don’t want to be asked about your age anymore. That question is a reminder that you’re older. Your parents are old. You’re not a kid anymore. You have your own kids.

    By now, your experience and maturity should speak for themselves. And more importantly (unlike when you were exactly eight years and three months old), you have trouble remembering exactly how old you are because you don’t want to know your age! Chances are, at this stage of your life, you might have a friend who has been celebrating a twenty-first birthday for the past ten years.

    Then, you hit the senior years, and it’s like experiencing the same challenges of a teenager all over again. Age once again determines what you can or can’t do but in a different way. Are you old enough for retirement? Old enough for senior discounts? Old enough to be taken seriously or dismissed as just “old”?

    At some point, you might even forget how old you are. Your teenage years might feel like yesterday. Your cousin doesn’t live in the same city anymore – she moved twice already in twenty years. And you aren’t the youngest in your friend group – you’re the oldest. You’re starting to realize the passage of time.

    Ultimately, no matter how old you are, the question carries weight. Are you too old, too young, not old enough, or not young enough? The question, “How old are you?” is asking for a number—but how you feel about it changes with every year.

    Thanks for reading!

  • 6 Ways to Get People to Remember You

    6 Ways to Get People to Remember You

    You can make lasting impressions when you are easy to remember and hard to forget. Whether it’s a social situation, a job interview, or a business situation, people will want to speak with you because they like you, and you create a strong initial impression. To help you achieve that goal, here are six ways to get people to remember you.

    1 Say and Spell the Other Person’s Name

    After you meet someone new, say their name during your conversation as soon as possible. Repeat their name at the end, closing with, “It was nice meeting you, (name).” People like to be remembered, and if you make an effort to remember this person, they are more likely to remember you as well. For me, it also helps to mentally spell that person’s name in my mind because it’s a visual attempt to associate their name and face in my memory.

    2 Radiate Positive Energy

    People associate you with what you say. If you complain a lot about the news, the weather, or other people, you may be perceived as negative. If you compliment others and speak positively about people, places, and events, others will associate you with this optimism. Make positive energy your brand, and that is what people will remember about you.

    3 Be a Great Listener

    People appreciate it when you show that you’ve been listening to what they say. If you repeat part of the last point they made or summarize what they’ve been talking about, it shows that you are a good listener. It also gives the impression that you value what the other person has said.

    4 Share a Story

    People remember stories. If you have a name that is difficult to remember, an anecdote about your name makes it easier to recall. Something catchy is as simple as an adjective + name: smart Sam or adventurous Alex. Then they will remember your name and something about your personality.

    5 Give a Gift

    When someone gives you something, you feel obligated to give them something in return. This is the Law of Reciprocity. You see this often when you go shopping. A staff member gives out free food samples, increasing the chances that the shopper will reciprocate by buying an item from the store. Similarly, when you open the door for someone, buy a coworker a coffee, or share useful information (like telling someone about a 2-for-1 deal you heard about), that person will view you more positively.

    6 Be Vulnerable

    One way to get people to remember you is to be vulnerable. When you make mistakes, others see you as more human and relatable. When you meet someone for the first time, share a quick anecdote about an embarrassing moment. For example, share how you ate the spicy green wasabi because you thought it was mint ice cream. People like people they can relate to.

    Key Takeaways

    Sometimes our first interaction with someone is brief. To create a lasting impact, try one of these six techniques to make yourself more memorable. As the saying goes, you have one chance to make a lasting impression.

    If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to make sure you don’t miss the next post!

  • Are You a Night Owl or an Early Bird?

    Are You a Night Owl or an Early Bird?

    Are you most productive with the sunrise, or are you most creative under the moonlight? Whether you’re an early bird or a night owl, both schedules have their perks and challenges. I’ve tried both lifestyles, and I think one is a clear winner.

    The Case for Early Birds

    Early risers often believe in the “early bird catches the worm” philosophy. Starting your day before the world wakes up can provide a distraction-free environment to achieve your goals. Early birds tend to be more proactive and may feel a greater sense of accomplishment. By starting the day early, you’ve checked off many items on your to-do list before people have started their work day. However, waking early also means sleeping early. 

    I’ve woken up early when I used to have an early work schedule. Words can’t describe the feeling of getting a head start on the day when everything around you is still quiet. But as a writer, I admit it doesn’t feel good to sleep just when my mind is most creative.

    The Case for Night Owls

    Night owls, on the other hand, get to tap into their body rhythms and natural alarm clock, waking up later in the morning and avoiding the morning rush. They often hit their peak productivity later in the day or even at night when the world around them is asleep and there are fewer distractions. Inspiration comes when work is done for the day and they feel more relaxed. 

    Clearly night owls have the better schedule. Waking up later in the morning reduces the stress of waking up when it’s still dark outside. It’s more relaxing to write in the evening when the daily routine is done, instead of cramming in a bunch of tasks before the start of the work day. 

    Which Is Better?

    Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The “better” choice depends on your goals, responsibilities, and preferences. If you have a job with early hours becoming an early bird might be more practical. Conversely, if your lifestyle allows for flexibility, embracing your night owl tendencies could help you perform at your best.