Let’s Un-invent the Handshake

Posted byVanya Wryter ConsultingPosted inBusiness, LifestyleTags:, , , , , , ,
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If you could un-invent something, what would it be?
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If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

It’s a competition and it’s awkward. Those are just two reasons I would un-invent this one thing that most people in the world consider as polite interaction.

Let’s find ourselves a time machine and travel all the way back to ancient Greece, ancient Babylon, and ancient Rome, when handshaking was practiced. Then let’s remove all memory of the first handshake! It was a form of greeting, like tipping a hat, or showing that you weren’t carrying hidden weapons.

Let’s un-invent the handshake! I’m more in favor of the courteous bow for many reasons. 

1 Handshakes reveal a power imbalance

Enough of men seizing my hand and squeezing so hard that my small fingers become crunched together in a triangular shape, reminiscent of the painful process of Chinese foot-binding. My sole impression of this person is pain. Do those men have no control over their bodies? Do they grab a sandwich with the same force as pulling a car?

I also question the intention of men who immediately twist my wrist to the side like we’re arm wrestling, so that his hand is on top as he shakes my hand. Why the gestures of dominance? Handshakes were a form of greeting, not a moment to show who’s the boss.

And on the other end of the spectrum, I feel so domineering when I shake a woman with a spaghetti grip: the kind of grip where her fingers are like limp string.

2 Handshakes are awkward

On more than one occasion, I’ve been sitting in an air-conditioned room, or just stepped in from the cold, and my hands are freezing. I can see the other person trying to look polite and calm (and not electrified) as I offer them my ice cube hand. 

Let’s not forget about the times when an introduction takes place at an awkward moment. For example, when I wash my hands in the company kitchen and a coworker introduces me to a new employee before I can find the towel. Awkward! Damp-skin handshake after I do a quick pat down on my own clothes.

Or the time you watch someone enter the room and touch door handles, sneeze and use a tissue, and grab a sticky muffin. Then the meeting starts, and handshakes are exchanged. If you’re germophobic, do you now use your handshake hand to grab a muffin from the table too?

What do you think? Do you like the handshake as a form of greeting?

48 thoughts on “Let’s Un-invent the Handshake”

  2. Handshakes are awkward in general… both the idea of them and the act itself. Any time I meet someone there is this awkward pause of like “should I shake their hand?” And “Oh please no don’t try to shake my hand”. You’re right, let’s just erase it from ever having existed. An awkward wave with a “hi nice to meet you” is perfect enough.

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  7. Namaste! We’ve always greeted people with Namaste for as long as I remember.

    Your observations are pertinent. I see the value of Namaste, in contrast. Will ensure that I avoid handshakes wherever possible. 🙂

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  15. I do like handshakes!!

    But to be very honest, I don’t prefer shaking hands with everyone.

    My handshakes are firm. It shows strength yes, it also shows interest

    If person shake hands loose or soft, that shows lack of interest. I see that as sign of disrespect, then I never shake hands with that person.

    For women, I apply less force, but still I would like to grab complete palm, rather than finger tips, or just a fist bump.

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  16. Interesting alternative for handshake. It eliminates the physical contact and potential power dynamics involved in a handshake, while still acknowledging the other person in a respectful manner.

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  19. I had this conversation with a French friend who came to the U.S. to work for a European corporation with a base here. She started working with American colleagues and noticed that, unlike in the French workplace, where it’s traditional to shake hands and exchange greetings at both the beginning and the end of the workday, people did not shake hands or even say hello at the start or end of each day. There was no acknowledgement that each member of the team had joined the day’s effort – in the U.S. work site, there was simply: work and go home. To that, I vastly prefer the handshake, imperfect though it may be. Although I agree that it can give too much information about where you stand with respect to the other person, at least they are acknowledging that you are there and that you both will be working together. It’s also a way of expressing physical unity, if only very briefly. It brings you physically close to someone and requires you to also look in their eyes. These are positives for me, but an elbow bump works just as well. Thanks for a good post!

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