Dreaded Questions: “How Old Are You?”

If there’s one question I hate being asked, it’s “How old are you?” Throughout the different stages of my life, I vacillated from welcoming to not caring to disliking that question. 

As a child, age is something we celebrate down to the smallest detail. You’re not just six; you’re six and a half. You’re not simply eight; you’re eight and three months. Every added fraction of a year is a milestone, a step closer to the next exciting stage of life.

Then, as a teenager, age becomes a frustrating boundary. It takes forever to reach the magic age of eighteen. You’re constantly reminded of what you’re not old enough to do—too young to drive, too young to go to late-night parties, too young for independence. The years seem to stretch endlessly before you, filled with rules and restrictions.

But then, something shifts. You finally reach the legal age for certain privileges—driving, voting, entering clubs. Suddenly, answering “How old are you?” feels like a badge of honor. You say your age with pride because it now represents newfound freedom. You can’t wait to show your ID card.

Yet, time passes, and one day, that same question feels different. When you realize no one is checking your ID anymore, you wonder—do I look older? Am I showing my age? You want to show your ID card to prove you’re still young enough to be questioned.

As the years go by, you don’t want to be asked about your age anymore. That question is a reminder that you’re older. Your parents are old. You’re not a kid anymore. You have your own kids.

By now, your experience and maturity should speak for themselves. And more importantly (unlike when you were exactly eight years and three months old), you have trouble remembering exactly how old you are because you don’t want to know your age! Chances are, at this stage of your life, you might have a friend who has been celebrating a twenty-first birthday for the past ten years.

Then, you hit the senior years, and it’s like experiencing the same challenges of a teenager all over again. Age once again determines what you can or can’t do but in a different way. Are you old enough for retirement? Old enough for senior discounts? Old enough to be taken seriously or dismissed as just “old”?

At some point, you might even forget how old you are. Your teenage years might feel like yesterday. Your cousin doesn’t live in the same city anymore – she moved twice already in twenty years. And you aren’t the youngest in your friend group – you’re the oldest. You’re starting to realize the passage of time.

Ultimately, no matter how old you are, the question carries weight. Are you too old, too young, not old enough, or not young enough? The question, “How old are you?” is asking for a number—but how you feel about it changes with every year.

Thanks for reading!