We all wish we could be good judges of character, but we aren’t always successful. I’m not the best at it, but here are my tips on judging people’s character, based on my own limited experience! Let me know if you’ve got tips to add to the list!

1. Observe How They Treat People Beneath Them

A truly insightful person understands that character is revealed not by how someone treats their boss, but by how they interact with those they consider as having lower status—waitstaff, cleaning staff, or subordinates. People of good character respect others and treat them like equals. 

2. They Don’t Ignore the Small Red Flags

A common bad habit is giving people “extra chances” and excusing early warning signs. A good judge of character notices minute details—a small lie, manipulation, or a broken promise. They understand that a pattern of bad behavior almost always starts small. If your friend consistently acknowledges these flags, rather than excusing them.

3. They Set and Maintain Clear Boundaries

A person with poor judgment often allows others to cross their boundaries, hoping the disrespectful person will change. In contrast, a sharp judge of character uses boundaries as a filter. They set clear rules (e.g., “I won’t tolerate being yelled at”) and enforce them immediately. This shows they value their peace over keeping a problematic person in their life.

4. They Learn Explicitly From Past Mistakes

It’s natural to misjudge someone. But an excellent judge of character doesn’t just move on from the bad experience; they engage in active self-reflection. They know why they were fooled, and can identify what they missed. 

5. They Wait for Behavior, Not Just Words

Flattery, charisma, and eloquent speeches are poor indicators of a person’s true personality. A good judge of character evaluates people based on what they do over time—the consistency, reliability, and kindness demonstrated over months, not the short term. If they are slow to trust, they are likely a very wise judge of human nature.