Redoing the Past – Setting Boundaries

Daily writing prompt
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

When we are older, we are wiser. We also spend a lot of time rethinking past life decisions and choices. If only we had a time machine to fix whatever needs fixing! 

One such moment from the past that stands out is a moment at work. I wished I had taken action to set boundaries. Instead, I just let things happen and felt defeated afterward.

I’d just been hired at a new company. A week later, the company had a meeting and dinner. After the event, people started to leave, and the boss insisted on a tight-squeeze bear hug. To me, hugging is a personal preference, especially when meeting the boss for the first time, and (very much) especially when the boss is male and I’m not too fond of him. When I tried to distance-hug the boss (the barely touching hug), he accused me of having issues and lectured me in front of everyone about my lack of participation. I was too concerned about being fired to insist on my boundaries.

What would I do differently now? It’s easy in hindsight to reflect on what I would have done. I have the luxury of freezing the past moment and fixing it up. I would have said that I hug family, close friends, and coworkers I’ve established a relationship with. He did not have that relationship with me.

Communication is key. Setting boundaries is key. But both are not easy to do. Perhaps the best advice is to ask yourself if you would regret your decision in the future. If you insist on your boundaries, you will feel better about it in the long run.

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to make sure you don’t miss the next post!

How to Create Success in Your Life

Are you the hero or the villain in your own story? Most people want to be the hero but it doesn’t always turn out that way.

Sometimes, you’re the villain. You become your own worst enemy when you tell yourself you can’t do something and you won’t succeed. But how do you defy that inner voice and outperform your expectations?

It’s easy to face a challenge we’ve conquered before. But how do we outperform ourselves?

The answer comes from a formula I learned in writing class. It applies to real life, too—it’s not just the stuff of fiction. But you might be thinking, it’s not possible to make your life turn out EXACTLY the way you want it to be!

Well, the outcome depends on the decisions you make now to achieve that success in life that you’re looking for. Here are the first three steps to take.

Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

Step 1: Embrace Change

Which would you rather be: a famous hero or an anonymous one? Everyone has their preference. Maybe you don’t even want to be famous and that’s okay. But are you happy with your life the way that it is? What would you do if you had a chance to make a change?

Change sometimes happens, even when we want to avoid it. Maybe you lost your job. Maybe you’re now a parent (and no one is really ready for that). You’re on a different journey than expected. What will you do now?

Don’t be the voice of self doubt. Your doubts are your enemy. Try the following tips instead:

1. Focus on one goal.

Use the K.I.S.S. method (Keep It Simple, Survivor!). Each day, decide on one thing you want to accomplish and get that done. Go for a 15-minute walk. Clean one room of your home. Learn one new thing from one YouTube video.

2. Challenge yourself.

Don’t accept things as they are. If you lose your job, find another one. (That suggestion is obvious, but the hard part is staying motivated to do this.) You can change your world the way it is right now. Be ready to climb a steep mountain though. Change isn’t easy.

Step 2: Define Your Journey

Your ability to succeed and achieve your dreams depends greatly on your choices. It becomes your identity. 

But what if you want to change where your life is headed right now? For example, if you want to change your career, you could take these steps:

1. Upgrade your skills.

You can take courses, watch free videos, network with people, get advice and information, or find a mentor. This advice also applies to other aspects of life, like improving relationships and improving at hobbies.

2. Change your situation.

Change is good. If your career isn’t headed in the right direction, consider changing jobs. If life isn’t what you expected, make new friends, visit new places, or change your focus.

Step 3: Define Your World – Create Your Boundaries

Creating your world may sound like fiction. In this case, it isn’t. Like they say, the world in your mind is the world you project on your reality.

If your inside voice – that voice of doubt – says you can’t do it, then the reality is you won’t. (Not saying you can fly if you put your mind to it – just saying if you set attainable goals, you can attain them.) So how will you see your world when you wake up tomorrow? How can you apply the following tips to define your life?

1. Adapt to a new reality.

If your circumstances change, make adaptations so your new reality will work out. If you get a pay cut, adjust your budget and set goals to improve your situation.

2. Grow stronger and build on what you have.

How can you build on your current skill set? What skills can you improve to do your current job more effectively? Do you have skills that are transferable to a new career?

Summary

You might not be a superhero, but you are still the hero on your journey. Your skills and mindset define the boundaries of your world and the path you’re headed for your future. We are like the heroes we read about in books and watch in movies.

Challenge yourself to complete a goal, upgrade your skills, or redefine yourself. Heroes don’t achieve great things by staying comfortable. So, what is your next big step in your journey? Comment below.

If you like this post, subscribe to make sure you don’t miss the next article!

5 Foolproof Ways for Everyday Things to Bring You Happiness

Is it possible to find happiness every day? Maybe, maybe not. You face enough of life’s tough challenges. I’m not going to try to turn any frowns upside down, but I can propose five foolproof ways for everyday things to bring happiness and a little joy to your life.  

Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

1  Special object for your daily routine

We all have that particular object that is a part of our daily routine. It can be your favorite cup for your morning tea or coffee. Your day doesn’t quite feel right if you begin without it. But when you start your day with that cup, you feel that everything is right in your corner of the world. 

2 Special object to create the mood

Those earphones that play your favorite tunes to set the mood are important to create your work mode or relax mode. Fast tunes to motivate you to get your work done, or slow tunes to relax you at the end of the work day. 

Your special object might be mood lights. Bright lights that keep you awake and working, or dim lights in the evening when you start the movie you couldn’t wait to watch.

3 Special object for self care

It’s the little things that we look forward to, like reading the next chapter of a book we can’t wait to finish. Drawing a bubble bath to relax and calm all the stresses from the day. That phone for the call with that friend or family member who can’t wait to hear how your day went and who is always there to support you. 

4 Special place in your home  

We all need that special place to give us security, peace, and happiness. It’s our secret retreat. It can be the beanbag chair in the corner of the room where you curl up to read a book. The couch where you snuggle with your pets and blanket while you watch your favorite shows. Or your bed, where you can’t wait to rest your head and forget about the day’s challenges.

5 Special person in your life

A smile or a few words from a special person in your life can mean the world to you. Your significant other saying good morning or goodnight. Your parent giving you words of encouragement. A friend who sends you a picture of something because they thought of you.

Someone you admire can also bring happiness to your day. For example, playing a song by your favorite musician, reading a poem by your favorite writer, or even writing in your own journal can bring happiness when you see how far you’ve come in your journey.

Any of these people can be your rock.

Did you enjoy this post? Subscribe so you won’t miss the next one.

What Should You Do If You Make a Mistake at Work?

Yes, I confess. I did a bad thing: I made a mistake at work. Well, not a big one. If you work long enough, the statistics aren’t in your favor because sooner or later, you’ll make a mistake. The important thing is how you deal with it. My mindset on dealing with mistakes is one positive change I’ve made in my life.

Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

Mistakes are unavoidable. For perfectionists, a mistake can be a terrible blight on your goal to have a perfect track record.

Mistakes happen, even if you are detail-oriented and careful. You may have called a client the wrong name or damaged your company’s reputation. After a mistake has been made, no matter how big or small, it’s how you deal with the mistake that matters.

Here are some steps to follow to minimize the impact of a mistake and keep your job (or help you to find a new one).

Step 1: Acknowledge the Mistake

Whether you make a typing error that resulted in an important package being sent to the wrong planet or printed a thousand copies of the wrong file, the first step is to acknowledge what happened. 

Everyone makes a mistake at some point in their career, and the best thing about making one is the confirmation that you are human. All humans are prone to errors. You say, “Oops” (or swear, depending on your preference), and start the recovery process.

Decide who to notify about the error, whether it is your boss, coworker, or customer, and tell them what has happened. The next critical part is damage control. 

Who does the mistake affect? Just yourself and one other person, or an assembly line of people? What must you say to each person? Is it enough to tell them about the error, or is there something you must do to put things back on track for each person?

Step 2: Analyze the Problem and Your Performance

After deciding who must be notified about the mistake, tell them what you will do to rectify the error. Will you need to issue an apology to a customer? Do you need to fulfill a product order a second time? 

How soon can you fix the mistake? Provide a timeline for each step and when you’ll have the issue resolved.

Those are the immediate steps that you need to take as soon as you realize that you’ve made an error.

You may also need to do some damage control to patch up relationships. For example, you forgot to complete your part of a project, so your coworker is angry with you. You could offer to help that coworker with their project.

Step 3: Process Your Feelings

You may be feeling frustration, embarrassment, or fear about what you’ve done. People may think you’re stupid or incompetent. 

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, you may be frustrated if the problem can’t be fixed right away, and other people need to be brought in to fix your issue. (And then even more people know what you did wrong. You’re getting famous–but not the way you wanted to be known.)

It is embarrassing when other people are made aware of what you’ve done wrong. If only we could make things disappear with the snap of our fingers! 

In extreme cases, you may be fearful of losing your job because you’ve previously been warned not to make the same mistake, or the error is a costly one, resulting in the company losing hundreds of thousands of dollars.

First, process your feelings. Acknowledge what you’re feeling and what is causing you to feel that way. 

Second, practice self-care. Do activities that will take your mind off what you’ve done wrong and regain your confidence. Watch a movie, spend time with friends, go for a run, or any number of activities that you enjoy.

Constantly dwelling on your negative feelings won’t improve the situation.

Step 4: Formulate a Plan to Prevent Future Mistakes

Analyze what went wrong and figure out how you can prevent the mistake from happening again. Could you create a checklist to follow? For example, if you made an error with a customer order, your checklist could include confirming the address and rechecking the customer’s name.

Ask for constructive feedback. What do your supervisor/coworkers/customers think you could do better? Is there any advice that you can take from the incident to improve how you do things in the future?

Taking initiative will show people that you’re trying your best to fix the mistake and prevent it from happening again.

Step 5: Focus on the Future: Mistakes Aren’t the End

If you are making the same type of mistake over and over again, analyze how you can improve yourself. Is there a skill you can work on? For example, if you are careless, how can you train yourself to be more precise? If you are disorganized, how can you be more organized with your schedule so you aren’t rushing to complete tasks close to the deadline?

In addition to improving soft skills, such as organization, what hard skills can you improve on to prevent mistakes? For example, if your error was the result of a lack of familiarity with a computer program or platform, can you take a course to improve your knowledge?

If your mistake was severe enough that you lost your job, you can still take steps to move on. How will you address the question (if it comes up) about why you left your last job? Instead of saying you were fired, you can simply say the job ended. Tell your next employer what you learned from the experience and the steps you’re taking to ensure a similar issue doesn’t happen again.

Always focus on self improvement. 

Key Takeaways

As the saying goes, mistakes happen. As soon as you realize that you made a mistake, take the initiative to acknowledge the error and find a solution. Mistakes are embarrassing, so take the time to process your emotions, take time for self care, and formulate a plan to prevent similar errors from happening again.

Do what you can to avoid making errors. Mistakes are unavoidable; it’s how you deal with them that matters.

If you liked this post, subscribe so you don’t miss the next one!

Happy Easter Weekend

Happy Easter to all who celebrate!

I’ve found some interesting facts about Easter from the internet. I’m sharing them here because I find them interesting.

  • Most people start with eating the ears of chocolate bunnies. Second choice is the feet, followed by the tail as the third choice.
  • Easter and Halloween compete for the highest candy sales.
  • Many people prefer their chocolate eggs to be filled with caramel, peanut butter, or chocolate ganache, rather than hollow or solid chocolate.
  • Early egg dyes were made using natural materials, such as flower petals, juices, onion peels, and tree bark.
  • Easter (the name) seems to be connected with Anglo-Saxon goddess Eostre. Her symbols were the hare and the egg.
  • The concept of the Easter bunny giving eggs and candies traces its origin in Germany.
  • The first recorded use of decorated Easter eggs was in the 13th century.
  • Eggs are a symbol of new life and rebirth,