Online Dating Apps Hit or Miss: Entrepreneur’s Review

If there was ever a year that online dating apps could be the answer to those looking for a date, 2020 would be it. For those singles in lockdown or severely restricted to just leaving the home for essentials, meeting singles through social events has become near impossible. Online dating apps seem to be the best solution during the pandemic but are they a hit or a miss?

I decided to put a few online apps under my entrepreneurial magnifying glass to decide if they were the solution to dating during COVID times. A single friend of mine tried out a few apps but she was doubtful that she would have much success. It was her first time trying out a dating app. Her views are somewhat typical of adults who haven’t used online dating before.

According to a survey, about 56% of adults don’t view dating apps favourably because of concerns of misrepresentation (lying about age, income, etc), fraudulent activity, or lack of safety (company doesn’t protect their information). This percentage changes with people who met someone online. About 78% who met their partner through a dating app view these services in a positive way.

As for my friend, we were curious about what her experience with online dating would be like. Would she find her future partner? Or would she be hoping to meet him still?

Are Online Dating Apps a Hit or Miss?

The reality is that online dating is a business. To that end, their goal is to keep you on their app as long as possible. In other words, the more you swipe, the more they win.

If you enjoy an abundance of choices and spending a portion of your day swiping through profiles and engaging in some conversations, you might enjoy online dating. However, if you’re a busy professional who just wants to meet that special someone, mindlessly flicking right and left quickly becomes a frustrating activity to kill time.

In many cases, my friend had to decide from a couple of photos and a sparse profile with few details (such as city, height, career, and short description of who he’s looking for) whether she wanted to pick the guy or not. She found it hard to decide with so little information.

In addition, when she did get a match, most matches opened a conversation with, “How are you?” Her textbook answer was always, “Good” or “Fine” because they don’t expect you to say, “Super busy at work” or “Would you believe I’m at a party” or “Super apprehensive if you’re the one or not.”

After a while, her answers became mechanical instead of genuine. Especially on day two of the chat when the guy would again ask, “Hi. How are you?” Whenever she opened a conversation, she tried to be more creative by looking at the man’s profile and asking a question based on what she read, such as, “Hi. So what places have you travelled to?”

A more meaningful conversation was a lot more useful at helping her decide if she liked the guy or not.

The Reality of Online Dating Apps

It doesn’t matter what reviews say about each dating app. Your experience on the app may or may not be anything like what they describe. As mentioned earlier, dating apps are in the business of roping you in and keeping you there.

Without knowing what selection of candidates are in your area, you could invest time in creating a profile of yourself only to find things aren’t what you expected. My friend had read about Bumble and liked the idea that women could make the first move.

My friend is in her forties looking for a man in his forties, and she is confident and knows what she is looking for. She wants a partner to start a family together. But, like a woman going to a steakhouse and hoping to meet a vegetarian, she found herself in the wrong place.

Her experience on Bumble lasted one hour from downloading the app to deleting it from her phone. What she quickly found out was that the men in their forties on this app either didn’t want kids or already had them and didn’t want any more.

After an endless succession of swiping no’s, she got rid of the app. She found that online dating was more about getting more users on the app than preparing users for what they would experience.

A dating app isn’t likely to put the user first, and have “buyer beware”, up to date descriptions on the types of profiles they had. Business-wise, it was too time consuming, and some app users probably weren’t as picky.

But if the app wanted to put the customer first in the future, she hoped it would have a description of the types of men she would meet before she invested the time in getting an app that wasn’t suited for her situation.

Photo credit: Adrianna Calvo

What the Online Dating Apps Don’t Tell You

The goal of dating apps is to keep you swiping (and single for as long as possible). It would be an impressive story if someone signed up, got a match on the first day, had a great conversation, and closed the app a week later because they had found their soulmate. Ideally, that’s what my friend wanted, but it’s not ideal for the app if people keep signing up and leaving with quick success.

She tried Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB), Plenty of Fish, and Match.com. On the first day of CMB, she had some matches that she liked. It went downhill from there, with fewer and fewer desirable matches as the days went on.

The process was also slow because she could only get less than 10 suggested candidates per day. Then she would have to wait until noon the next day for more suggestions. She could also browse about 10 additional candidates if she did a search. However, with these candidates may not meet her must haves.

Eventually she became more desperate (or daring) and widened her search area from 10 km to 20km. Within minutes, she found guys who had picked her. One man lived in another country. Another man was 20 years older than her, and other was 20 years younger.

These matches alarmed her because that meant they had seen her profile some time ago in order for them to have “liked” her already. For example, there was a man who liked her who lived in another country. She would never choose him in return because she wasn’t interested in a cross-border relationship.

From the customer’s point of view, she felt that she should have been able to select criteria that would work both ways. For example, if she wasn’t interested in viewing profiles of men who were 20 years older than her, then men who were 20 years older shouldn’t have access to her profile either.

From the business point of view of the dating app, I could see why they would not want these types of “two-way” limitations. It gave the app a bigger pool of candidates. A guy 20 years older than her could “like” her, hoping that one day, she would like him back, not knowing that she never will. It’s like encouraging people to be optimistic about something that wouldn’t happen. To me, this is one aspect of online dating that is a “miss.”

Summary

It’s possible to meet a perfect partner on an online dating app. Success stories boast that these apps are a “hit.” But for those like my friend who downloaded and deleted a series of online dating apps during the pandemic, these apps were a “miss.” The main purpose of an app, like any business, is to keep you coming back for more. Given the choice between matching you to your ideal partner or keeping you swiping, these apps are designed to keep you swiping and searching. If you’re lucky, you’ll find the hidden gem you’re looking for.

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Skills Insight of the Day #2 – Dating

Online dating requires a specific skill set, just like job interviews and resume writing do, wouldn’t you agree?

You need to find photos that show off the very best qualities of your appearance, personality, and what you like to do. No selfies, group shots, blurry shots, sunglasses or covering your face shots. Writing a profile that shows off your personality because bare minimum profiles make it harder to someone to decide if they like you.

Most importantly, understanding how to use the dating app to your best advantage. Statistics say after the first few days, your chances of finding the perfect match starts to drop! And after you get a match, be patient and tolerant of what could happen. A match can suddenly disappear mid conversation.

What tip would you give someone who is trying online dating?

Writing Skills that Entrepreneurs and Santa Would Crave?

Would you feel more comfortable crafting a handwritten letter or sending a quick text? Most likely you answered “text” because most of us feel a bit out of practice when it comes to writing by hand. In fact, our writing skills (by hand or keyboard) has been declining each generation! A perfect example of this is the tradition of writing letters to Santa Claus at this time of year.

Good kids (well, all kids) are still writing their wish list to Santa at the North Pole. But over time, people haven’t been writing as well as they used to. When was the last time you picked up a pen and wrote a complete letter to someone? How confident are you in your grammar and spelling each time you compose an email for work?

If you’re feeling a bit shaky about your writing skills, you aren’t alone. Entrepreneurs have noticed, and they’re doing something about it. Whether you need to write a letter to Santa or need some help with business writing, you can count on your own secret elf to help you out with this task. What is this secret elf… well, tech?

I’ll answer that in a bit. First, we need to understand how we got here – why the marketplace created a need for technology to assist us with writing in the first place.

Writing Skills and the Impact of Technology

These days, our writing skills are at the point where we may need help to write our letters. Blame technology for the decline in our writing. (And then thank technology for saving us, ironically.) Like dinosaurs that couldn’t adapt to change, we stopped seeing the value of composition when we didn’t need to grip a pen in hand.

Why write a note when you can send a text or voice message? Technology is so much more convenient and painless. Back when we had to write pages and pages of sentences by hand, you could get callouses on your fingers just from holding your pen for hours. And back then, you could get a high from sniffing liquid whiteout when painting over your mistakes.

Those were the days when writing was a workout, you double checked your spelling, and you could identify verbs and nouns. Now we spend more time rapid firing messages with abbreviated words on our apps, LOL. (LOL is laugh out loud, if you still like to handwrite things.)

A study showed just how much times have changed. The study found that these days, college students are spending more time on social media now than reading. When it comes to assignments, they are graded on the content of what they write, not their writing ability!

In fact, a study found that “Teachers have been reporting anecdotally that even compared to five years ago, many are seeing declines in vocabulary, grammar, writing, and analysis.” Good writing skills are on their way to extinction.

Despite this trend with writing skills, people still treasure a handwritten message. Think about your reaction to a hand scrawled message on a birthday card. Or a quickly jotted note from a loved one. There is something about handwriting that technology just can’t replace.

The Skills Behind Writing a Handwritten Letter

It’s been a long time since most of us have seen something as rare as a handwritten letter. A survey of Americans found that “33 percent say they haven’t gotten a handwritten note in more than a year,” and another survey said that “fifteen percent of Americans say they haven’t written a note to someone in more than five years.”

Think of how wonderful it would be to receive a handwritten note. Years ago, people cherished handwritten letters a lot more, and it was a way to communicate messages that you could keep someplace safe and look back at them time and time again. The early letters to Santa is one example of this way to pass on advice.

Photo credit: Jonathan Borba

That’s right – pass on advice, not send Santa a list of toys. The tradition of writing letters to Santa has a long history that has evolved a lot over time. At first, the letters weren’t about getting toys. Over a century ago, Santa was writing letters of advice to children. He would comment on their past behaviour over the year and how they could improve for the coming year! Santa (well, the parents) would leave these letters near the fireplace.

As it became more common to buy stamps in the 1860s, American children started to send letters to Santa at the North Pole, where they believed he lived and worked. The tradition evolved to what it is today: children who are good ask for toys that they would like to see under the tree at Christmas.

Technology has also evolved. If you don’t know how to write a letter – or struggle with letter writing in general – you can still be a competent writer.

Websites such as emailsanta.com make the writing process super easy for those who want to write a basic letter to Santa. You choose a stamp, go to a webpage with the skeletal structure of a letter, and fill in all the blanks. And just like that, presto, your letter to Santa is complete! You will also instantly get an answer back.

You could say that letter writing programs such as this one is contributing to the decline in writing skills because the process has become so automated. But you could also say that technology can help with teaching writing skills.

At the marthastewart.com site, they teach you how to write a letter to Santa Claus. It even has instructions on how to get the letter sent back to the child’s home. When the child reads the letter, they will find a personalized answer from Santa himself. The secret of course, is the additional instructions to the parent on how they can write the reply as Santa before the letter is returned.

I don’t remember writing to Santa as a child, but I’m sure back then I would have been impressed that he took the time to write to me, one kid out of millions. I was already content that he could spare a few seconds on Christmas Eve to drop into my home and fill my stockings with gifts.

With all this technology, what will happen to letter writing in the future? Will children be sending voice messages or video messages to Santa in a couple centuries?

Photo credit: Valentin Petkov

Are Shortcuts to Writing the Solution to Writing Skills?

Chances are written messages will still be around for a while. Entrepreneurs are constantly devising new ways to answer our desires for personalized content and bridge the writing skills gap.

If your handwriting looks like a chicken scratched some random ink on the page, digital handwriting services are here to rescue you. Marketing research has found that customers are more likely to read a handwritten message. Just think of the last time you held a pile of mail in your hand and you saw handwritten words on an envelope. Weren’t you assuming a friend or family member had written to you?

I was surprised when one such envelope with handwriting on it turned out to be a marketing campaign from some company I hadn’t even heard of. However, I’ll give them credit for piquing my interest for a good minute while I opened the envelope to see what was inside.

Thanks to technology, we don’t need to hire a human to handwrite each letter or note to a potential customer. We’ve got automated bulk mail machines to send the same letter to hundreds of people at the same time. The handwritten text just adds that extra personal touch.

With these services, it is even possible to get these digital handwriting services to “handwrite” your annual Christmas letter to your family.

Entrepreneurs are always looking for ways to solve problems. Writing skills may be on the decline generation after generation, but AI (artificial intelligence) could save you.

A site such as copy.ai is geared toward brainstorming the copy for digital agencies, copywriters, and ecommerce brands. There’s no excuse for writer’s block anymore. Not when a website can help you with copy creation for Facebook, your blog, Instagram, and more. There’s a fee for the service, of course, but maybe now you won’t need to pay for writing courses to improve your skills.

I wonder what people from two centuries ago would say about our writing skills today. Would parents have preferred to use technology to handwrite their Santa letters to their children?

Summary

Handwritten letters seem to be a lost art. Nowadays, people’s writing skills aren’t as good as they used to be.

However, entrepreneurs and businesses have found a way to solve the writing skills gap. A letter to Santa could be composed using technology you find online. At the office, you can employ the services of a website to write your copy for you. Despite these changes, one thing remains the same.

People still value receiving a handwritten note. Perhaps you could handwrite a short letter to a loved one this Christmas and see what happens.

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Skills Insight of the Day #1 – Writing

“…the Snapchat generation may produce more writing than any group of teenagers before it, writing copious text messages and social media posts, but when it comes to the formal writing expected at school and work, they struggle with the mechanics of simple sentences.” – Dana Goldstein, The New York Times

For more on writing and technology, check out this post on writing skills.

Entrepreneurs: Develop a Wealth Mindset by Reading Robb Report

Why did you become an entrepreneur? You most likely wanted a challenge, income security, financial success, or you weren’t happy with your situation at work. No matter what your reason, developing a wealth mindset is important to becoming successful as an entrepreneur. One way to develop that mindset is by reading Robb Report.

What is a wealth mindset and why Robb Report? To start with, here are some important stats you should know. In the world, there are 582 million entrepreneurs. You’re not alone! And as of 2016, 25 million Americans had already started or were already running a business of their own. Sounds positive, but also consider this: within the first year, 22.5% of small businesses fail.

Why Develop an Entrepreneur Wealth Mindset?

To avoid becoming a statistic, or a cautionary tale for entrepreneurs, it’s important to develop a wealth mindset. Contrary to what it may suggest, a wealth mindset isn’t just about getting rich and having money. Wealth is also about abundance.

Do you read or hear about people complaining about how expensive the cost of living has become? What about people complaining about their salary and how they want to be paid more but they aren’t? I read negative comments about costs and salaries and prices all the time. It’s easy for people to complain.

The problem is your mind gets cluttered with the negativity. You could be hearing a voice in your head saying your career goal is out of reach, that your income goal is impossible, or no one wants to buy what you want to sell.

The entrepreneur wealth mindset defeats those thoughts. You want to see the world as abundant. You want to start believing that there is enough money to go around, and there are enough customers to go around.

No matter how dark those early days are as you struggle with the first few years of your business, you must believe that wealth is totally attainable. You have to believe that one day, your business will start to turn a profit and you can tell your friends and family, “I did it! I told you I would.”

Photo by Nina Uhlu00edkovu00e1 on Pexels.com

What Does Robb Report Tell Us About Wealth Mindset?

My business mentor taught me reading the Robb Report is one way to develop a wealth mindset.  The Robb Report is both a print and online luxury magazine about luxury vehicles, vacations, dining, and fashion. The target market is the superrich, those “with an average income of $1.25 million and an average net worth of $7.5 million.”

What if you’re nowhere near that income bracket?

No worries if you’re short by a few million. It’s all about the mindset. Read what the wealthy read about. According to Robb Report, the top three most popular articles for 2019 were about a $250 million dollar yacht, American restaurants rated by Michelin, and America’s biggest 3 million square foot mall in Rutherford, NJ. Most of these popular topics are quite relatable to us all. Many of us like to eat and shop.

The amount we spend when shopping is a bit different in the Robb Report universe. The magazine is not at all squeamish about listing the price of an item. A Frette Chains Wool Blanket, for example, is described in a highly desirable way:

Frette is not a new name in the world of luxury textiles—it was one of the official purveyors to the Italian royal family back in the late 1800s, after all—and this grey throw readily fits in with the brand’s storied oeuvre. Made of soft virgin wool, it’s a dream to curl up in.

Underneath the description is the price: $1067. No problem! The typical Robb Report audience does not bat an eye when dropping a few hundred – or thousand – on an item. Many of us more humble entrepreneurs might balk at spending over a thousand on what better be the blanket of the century.

Read more: Why You Should Charge More to Keep Customers Happy

However, when you start reading these articles, you can train your brain to think with a wealth mindset. You start to think differently: Money comes to you in abundance. One day, you will be able to afford what you want without calculating how each purchase will impact your finances.

You don’t have to start buying thousand-dollar accessories for your home. But you can start to think of things that you thought were expensive as being more affordable, more within reach.

How A Wealth Mindset Readjusts Your Income Scale

Think about how you view wealth. What do you consider a low income? Middle income? High income? Most people think of six figures (even 100,000) to be high income and unattainable. Now consider why you have this income scale in your mind.

I remember a friend of mine once said she was in the high-income bracket because she cleared $100K. To her, $100K was the upper end of the income bracket for people. Many would agree with her. I once read an article about how “most people” can’t afford a house in Vancouver. They also say you should expect to be thousands of dollars in debt after college.

These types of thoughts adjust your income scale in your mind in a certain way. Being in debt from buying a $800K house, or in debt from college means you expect to be only generating so much income from your career, your business, your investments, etc.

Retrain your brain. Set your goals higher. Redefine what you think of as your middle-income goal. Your high income goal. Why should a high income be just $100K? Why not $500K? Why not a million? Set higher goals for yourself, and your perception of wealth will change too.

For example, yes, you could be in debt when you first start a business. But eventually abundance will find you and you will find the income you are looking for. Tell yourself you can afford luxuries. You deserve it. You deserve abundance, whether that wealth means more money, more free time, better health, or achieving your dreams.

And one day, when you see a PieCaken holiday dessert, one cinnamon buttercream-encased package you’ll say, “$99? I’ll take it. Looks delicious.” Like they say, in Robb Report, “It’s the perfect confection for those among us who simply don’t want to choose just one dessert.”

Summary

Developing a wealth mindset is an important first step in your road to success as an entrepreneur. Reading magazines like Robb Report will retrain your brain to visualize wealth – abundance – as an attainable goal. You will tear down mental walls and redefine what you think is possible.

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